After 40 some years of feeling completely lost in the world, I have finally found the purpose I was born with and carried all along. I was born to die.

Those words came to me at 3 am the other day. That hour of the early morning seems to be the set time for my most powerful voice of inner guidance. And so I’ve pondered that statement, in a quest to understand what it really means. What follows is my interpretation.

Hello friends. First a quick medical update to catch you up to speed before I get into what I really wish to speak of. The immunotherapy was not working, or if it was, not fast enough to actually get ahead of the progressively aggressive tumor spread in my liver. A hasty decision was made to switch to a heavy chemo, knowing there is no known chemo that is effective with this cancer, but as a last ditch effort to at least try something. From the moment that first dose of chemo was in, there was no way I was able to view it as a "love juice" meant to spread healing, as was my perspective the first time around. As it circulated my blood stream, it felt poisonous, not healing. That was 2+ weeks ago on with it........and we'll revisit this saga later....

"From roots to wings" is a phrase that started tugging at my heart several weeks ago and hasn't let me go. I wasn't sure if it was going to be the title of my next book, a song, a Sunday talk or something else. Turns out, it may be more than one of those. The words seem especially appropriate given what I've been experiencing the last almost 2 years with the diagnosis, treatments, layers of unpleasant news, more treatments, and a whole host of emotions! At every turn, this challenge has required me to dig

You've walked this journey with me and so I continue to share. Hopefully we can each learn something about ourselves along the way, or maybe we just start to appreciate our moments a little more. That would be enough. Today was an emotionally challenging day for me...

What a year it has been! Someone recently asked me what I thought of my year, fully expecting me to reference the health challenges. And yes, from that perspective, it has been one of the most difficult years of my life. But I surprised her with an answer of, "Wow...what a year!" I've experienced so many wonderful things this year, and I've traveled more than I ever have before. 

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